Justin texted me at 2 o'clock today: "Manny just got traded to the dodgers for jason bay."
Hmmm.
Three weeks ago, Justin and I were drunk on an airplane hanging over Salt Lake. We were deep into missing most of the Home Run Derby. And I tried to bitch about Pujols. Except I said "Poo-joels." Yes, I've always lived in California. Yes, I took four years of Spanish. Yes, I hard j'd it.
The point is this: is it merely BECAUSE I've talked about baseball that Justin thinks I know anything? Does getting the bartender to turn on the Derby at the airport bar make him think I understand trades? I'm not even totally sure "Manny" means Ramirez! I'm pretty sure! But I wouldn't bet more than a drink on it!
If I was a boy, I think Justin would have mined my knowledge so quickly and thoroughly - in one of those deft boybanters that spars and jokes as much as it really communicates - that he would know by now I'm still little more than a dilettante. Is that the difference? Is it the boy-girl thing that's making him not see my dearth of real knowledge? Did I pick out the right 10 codewords? Hmmmmm.
He said he was going to call me Poojoels from now on, but I haven't heard it once.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Stars Blow
I know Matt 'n' Tim are my age, but its still weird to run across it in the stats. I was scrolling through the roster for some reason today (I think I was on my way to click on Cain to get to the MLB online store to buy a Cain jersey -- which they STILL. DON'T. HAVE. So much money not being made!), and was re-reminded that they were born in '84, same as me. UGH. I'm NEVER GONNA PITCH IN THE MAJORS.
Then I saw Matt's birthday is October 1, and wondered what sign that was.
That, my friends, is a Libra. Scales! Balance!
I think it explains some things about Ol' Pokerface.
The first page I went to is probably the shittiest horoscope page I've ever seen, but let's get to the pertinent stuff anyway.
-"Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac..." - YES! IMMOVABLE!
-"They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident."
Dude does not get riled, but I've never seen silence get quieter than when he gets called back to the dugout before he's ready.
-"...have the gift...of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them."
I feel like Omar could tell me whether this is true.
-"Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor."
You ever seen this guy plow through 7.5 innings? I don't see the wheels move a whole lot, but I see form.
-"They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes..."
eeeeeeeee.
-"Libra governs the lumbar region, lower back and kidneys. Its subjects must beware of weaknesses in the back, and lumbago"
I do not know what it is a "lumbago," but I do know Oh no! The Back! The Lumbar! Future fantasy leagues crashing!
Hilariously:
* LIKES
* The finer things in life
* Sharing
* conviviality
* Gentleness
* DISLIKES
* Violence
* Injustice
* Brutishness
* Being a slave to fashion
Now that we know that, there is clearly only one logical next step.
Libra Man & Pisces Woman
"For Pisces: You are both creatively inclined, however you are just not sophisticated enough for the Scales. Librans also have trouble putting up with your emotional whims."
On a scale of okay to awesome, I give that an indignant.
"This match can last for a while but it is very unlikely to last or become a true love."
:( :( :( :( :( :(
"Sexually Libra must take the lead and finds that annoying."
DUDE! W!
Sigh.
I googled lumbago. At least we have that in common.
Then I saw Matt's birthday is October 1, and wondered what sign that was.
That, my friends, is a Libra. Scales! Balance!
I think it explains some things about Ol' Pokerface.
The first page I went to is probably the shittiest horoscope page I've ever seen, but let's get to the pertinent stuff anyway.
-"Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac..." - YES! IMMOVABLE!
-"They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident."
Dude does not get riled, but I've never seen silence get quieter than when he gets called back to the dugout before he's ready.
-"...have the gift...of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them."
I feel like Omar could tell me whether this is true.
-"Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor."
You ever seen this guy plow through 7.5 innings? I don't see the wheels move a whole lot, but I see form.
-"They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes..."
eeeeeeeee.
-"Libra governs the lumbar region, lower back and kidneys. Its subjects must beware of weaknesses in the back, and lumbago"
I do not know what it is a "lumbago," but I do know Oh no! The Back! The Lumbar! Future fantasy leagues crashing!
Hilariously:
* LIKES
* The finer things in life
* Sharing
* conviviality
* Gentleness
* DISLIKES
* Violence
* Injustice
* Brutishness
* Being a slave to fashion
Now that we know that, there is clearly only one logical next step.
Libra Man & Pisces Woman
"For Pisces: You are both creatively inclined, however you are just not sophisticated enough for the Scales. Librans also have trouble putting up with your emotional whims."
On a scale of okay to awesome, I give that an indignant.
"This match can last for a while but it is very unlikely to last or become a true love."
:( :( :( :( :( :(
"Sexually Libra must take the lead and finds that annoying."
DUDE! W!
Sigh.
I googled lumbago. At least we have that in common.
Not Much More Complicated than a g-chat
me: ha ha ha
okay so my new blog
Amanda: okay
me: its about me watching baseball
I've always liked it
but
my family is not a sports family, so I'm self taught
have a lot of gaps
Amanda: haha
me: I call it a foundling's love
and also
I think I like sports in a way particular to ladies, like I clearly analyze different things than dudes
I just got done, for instance, running the giants bullpen through astrology
Amanda: in what way?
whaaaa?
me: well like
I looked up the signs of some of my favorite pitchers
I have specific female-male relationships that I have assigned to each player
tim lincecum is my baseball boyfriend (fun, exciting, making it happen now) while matt cain is my baseball husband (reserved, steady, gonna be in the game forever, slow builder)
rich aurilia is my baseball neighbor (he's always there but I sort of forget about him for awhile)
Amanda: this is your first entry
are you aware?
me: basically yes
okay so my new blog
Amanda: okay
me: its about me watching baseball
I've always liked it
but
my family is not a sports family, so I'm self taught
have a lot of gaps
Amanda: haha
me: I call it a foundling's love
and also
I think I like sports in a way particular to ladies, like I clearly analyze different things than dudes
I just got done, for instance, running the giants bullpen through astrology
Amanda: in what way?
whaaaa?
me: well like
I looked up the signs of some of my favorite pitchers
I have specific female-male relationships that I have assigned to each player
tim lincecum is my baseball boyfriend (fun, exciting, making it happen now) while matt cain is my baseball husband (reserved, steady, gonna be in the game forever, slow builder)
rich aurilia is my baseball neighbor (he's always there but I sort of forget about him for awhile)
Amanda: this is your first entry
are you aware?
me: basically yes
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